Real mothers

My day started off with someone sending me one of those sentimental emails, the ones which depict what most of us mothers experience on a day-to-day basis, or at least have encountered somewhere along the lines. Real Mothers it was called. This real mother is sitting at her desk, taking a mental break long enough to write in her blog about last night's / early morning's events. My head is pounding, my eyes are burning, and I have a now have one more load of clothes to do when I go home.

The message mentions a lot of things that bring a smile and " i can relate" thought to mind. Playdough. I'll be honest, i've never had to pick dried playdough out of a carpet, but do vividly recall it being stuck in the red shag rug that used to adorn the floors of my strawberry shortcake room back in the day. The day being the early to mid-eighties. My brother had a similar set-up; blue shar rug to match cookie monster decor. I do however, know what a mess playdough can make on hardwood floors. What on hardwood you ask? Yes, hardwood, right between the little cracks in the board, the little cracks that are all of about a millimeter wide. Try picking that out with a needle. I couldn't help but send a note back to my friend, as I felt something was obviously missing from the message. It's so fresh in mind, I can still smell it.

Here is the message that was sent to me:

MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; They don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils Are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, Filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough Doesn't come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what The vacuum just sucked up...
Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' And get their answer when a littleVoice says, 'Because I love you best.
'Real Mothers know that a child's growth Is not measured by height or years or grade... It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother

Here's what I felt was missing:


Mothers will also cuddle piss-soaked kids in the middle of the night, without a second thought if it means not waking anyone and getting an extra 10 minutes of sleep.. This is after stripping them of their wet jammies and hearing them splat on the floor next to the bed, where they will lay until said mother wakes for the fifth and final time of the morning. Some real mothers would run to the washer in the middle of the night to do a load of laundry. The morning decision then came - does pissy-smelling boy got a bath before breakfast this morning or do wet clothes and sheets got thrown on the deck outside my bedroom patio door. Hope the wind doesn't pick up today.

And that's how my day started. Looking at the bright side, the little guy who didn't know any better cuddled right up to me and we both went back to sleep. Sleep was what I was looking for, cuddles were a bonus, even if he was a bit damp. Of course, I couldn't get to sleep last night, so it was only fitting that it would happen when I'm already overtired!

If someone with no kids dares walk up to me today and tell me about how tired they are I might just bitch slap them into next week.

Norwalk blues...and browns

Anyone who has children is probably quite familiar with the following scenarios: You're in a deep sleep, a little person thumps into your room and says Mommy - my belly hurts. If you're not too tired from working, cleaning, taking care of kids, running them all around,etc... you might realize that this is your two second warning before BLEEECHHH!!! Vomit. Curdled milk and cheerios vomit. You might have enough time to rush them into the washroom, if you're consicous enough to consider that option.

If you're like me, and you're dead tired, have given up on trying to put a kid back to bed in the middle of the night, usually just let them climb in bed with you with the idealization that as long as everyone gets their sleep, you don't give a shit where they sleep - you invite them into your bed. You rub their little head with a there, there, go back to sleep, only to have them repeat that their belly hurts, cry a bit, start coughing then puke in your face. Or on your pillow, and all over your sheets, comforter, duvet, teddy bears, whatever is in the vicinity at the time the vomiting begins. You rush them over the side of the bed, where they barf on the floor, then on the way to the bathroom, they normally get one more big belly load of putrid waste out right on the floor in front of the toilet. By this time, your other half has woken up, is gagging and repeating, I can't clean that up, that's gonna make me hurl. So you clean your puke soaked child off, change their jammies and send them back to another bed with Dad. Then you clean the barf off the floors, strip the beds, start the washing machine, make your bed again and finally climb back in it. Then the alarm goes off and it's time to go to work!

These of course, are just a couple of flu scenarios. Add diarrhea to that mix and you've got another whole mess of fun.

Take little David the other night (scenario # 2 where I was too tired to realize he was going to be sick) I hollered for Trevor and he came and I went back to bed and left it all to him to deal with. I don't think he was impressed, but he didn't work the next day and I did so I fell back asleep and didn't feel a bit guilty. I've done it MANY times. Trevor's a trooper, he took David back to bed, where he got sick a few more times, but Trevor's quicker than I am, and got him to the bathroom. He had changed him into clean jammies, only to hear a little voice say, Daddy, I had a wet fart proceeded by a smell that could wake the dead. It goes without saying that a wet fart in jammie pants with no underwear is quite messy. He put him in the tub, then on the toilet then i think they finally went back to bed. Trevor told me they had just fallen asleep when David's little belly rumbled and it's contents spilled out into his undies. David curled himself nice and tight into Trevor's mid-section, (he's a cuddler) and that was what woke Trevor. The wetness spilling out of David's little tighty not-so-whities. Back to the bathroom, back to the tub. After they were cleaned up, back to bed and no more shit-cidents for the rest of the night.

The next morning, David woke up like nothing happened and was running around the house in high gear. Trevor looked like he'd been hit by a truck. David crashed at about 5pm for the night.

When a flu bug of this sort hits a house, it's only a matter of time before the others in the house get it. Harrison was next, then Trevor. I've been lucky so far, but i'm sure my time is coming. Harrison followed suit by announcing his intention to up-chuck at 4am, but at five years old, he's older and wiser, he got out of his bed and made way for the toilet. Alas, it was a good try, but there were still three wet gooey piles of puke in the hallway and on the bathroom floor. Luckily, it was not as eventful as David's middle of the night adventure. Up to this point, my head had been clogged tight and solid with a sinus and ear infection. I couldn't' smell a thing. Upon the first blowing of the nose in the morning, my ears unplugged. Harrison jumped in the shower to clean off a bit after a little mess in his drawers, and when finished, wrapped a towel around himself and went and sat at the computer. Just as I was getting dressed, I heard uh-oh, i did it again Mom. Bare-assed in the leather computer chair. It was almost simultaneous, Harrison's liquid movement, my sense of smell returning and the flu hitting Trevor full force. My entire house reeked of diarrhea, like the smell that hits you when you walk into an old folks home in the morning. It was wretched and unbearable. I could have gone without smell for a couple of more days.

A few hours later, Harrison is doing well and Trevor is now firing at both ends. As for me, I'm patiently waiting for the inevitable to happen. So if anyone knows of a good sale on Tide this week, let me know.

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Turkey with a side of vengeance anyone?

Shortly after I published this post, I lay in bed only to hear that ol' familiar tune...gurgle gurgle gurgle. My belly rumbled and rolled like thunder in the distance. I'm pretty sure the deer in our backyard headed for the hills and my children took cover. Holy sweet jesus. The belly cramps were reminiscant of labor pains, minus the pain medication. The pain not only hit my innards, but it travelled to my head and gave me a blinding migraine. There is really something to be said for having a toilet and a sink in very close proximity. Unfortunately, we didn't design our bathroom that way and it was at that exact moment when Norwalk ferventlly, repeatedly and simultaneously made it’s exit that I wished to god we had.

The only silver lining in this brown cloud called the flu was that it was fast and furious. Mine only lasted about 12-24 hours. Thank god.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever think of turkey on a bagel the same again. Once you live through that, it’s certain that you will give it consideration. I guess I can chalk it up to serves me right for eating carbs.

three years later..party etiquette begins

Close to three years has past since i last updated my blog. I'm going to guess if I looked into it, my facebook account would have been opened right around the same frame. For those who actually still read blogs, in particular mine, I apologize. You'd think I'd schedule time out of my day to keep up with it. Cause everyone knows me, I'm pretty lazy and enjoy sitting around doing nothing so I might as well have been updating my blog! I think I've made my point, I'm sorry for abandoning what was once something I enjoyed. Come to think of it, there are a lot of things I've abandoned that I used to enjoy. Sleeping for instance. Eating in peace. Having money to buy myself whatever I wanted when the urge hit me. Now it's toys, kids clothes, sports equipment, video games and birthday presents.

One of my last blogs was titled play dates and parties, the life of a toddler. Three years later, my children, now four ( almost) and five, have a busier social calendar than I do. From the end of November to the end of December, the boys had seven parties to go to, not including class parties, Christmas concerts and daycare. For each of these parties, one is required to purchase a gift, and of course, there could be a world-class meltdown if you pick it out and don't let them pick it out for their friend. Once we're at the store and they've been threatened within an inch of their lives should they throw a fit or ask for something for themselves, my guilty conscience kicks in when I see what they have to choose from for less than 10$. CRAP. Crap is what you can buy for 10$ these days. And my kids don't understand that big fancy monster trucks are not 10$. I used to try and exercise some respect when choosing gifts for others kids, until I had my son's 5th birthday party. There were more small gifts with a million pieces in them, plastic choke-yourself out, mess-making use once and dispose of type toys than I could shake a stick at. It looked like the dollar store exploded on my basement floor. At that point it was obvious that others weren't perplexed with the same gift giving issues that I was.

Another issue once faces with youngsters birthday parties are the uninvited guests. One wouldn't think it's common for there to be a "wedding crashers" type of guest at a 4 yr old or 5yr old's party, but guess what? There is!!
At my son's party, we did a Halloween trick or treating theme. We invited 12 kids, with my two that made 14. Once woman arrived and her daughter wanted to stay as well. She insisted I not go to any trouble for the child who wasn't on the invite list. This was fine, the little girl was in David's class and i know her mother to be sensible enough that I wouldn't have to entertain her. The party crashers arrive, with their daughter who is invited, and their son, who is three years older, had a broken arm and fully participated in all the activities and took charge and ordered the younger kids around. The parents stood idly around, suggesting some of the activities weren't suitable for their son, who had a broken arm. Here's a thought -stay the hell home with your son who wasn't invited to the party. I thought maybe this was an isolated instance, but then thought back to last year, where we carved pumpkins as an activity,Trevor had to carve an extra pumpkin, and I had to quickly make up an extra loot bag. Then at three other parties that took place this fall , same thing, the whole fam damily show up. Parties where you rent space for activities aren't cheap either - 10-15$ a kid. I've overheard rumblings from other parents on this subject and those, in my opinion with any sense, drop their kids off and enjoy a couple of hours to themselves. So unless your child demands you stick around to hold their hand throughout the party- leave and take any other non-invited children with you.

Those are my thoughts on non-invited birthday party guests. I'll probably get branded as the mother-bitch of child birthday parties, but I bet there are many others who share my sentiments. I plan to craft something to put on invitations for the next parties....I'll post it once I figure out what I'm going to say. Stay tuned. I promise it won't be another three years.

Fall 2007

Thsi fall has been a very busy one. It kicked off in style with a big party in Waterford at the Forsythes to celebrate Stacey and Gavin's anniversary. Harrison and David both started pre-school f/t and are quite enjoying it, we had two friends get married ( lots of fun at showers and stagettes!), Harrison turned three and Dad also celebrated his 36th birthday on Halloween. We were back to the camp lots during hunting season and more recently there last night for our last trip of the year. While there, we had a Christmas/Susan and Sally's birthday party. Fun was had by all. The boys finished the night with what was supposed to be a little bird bath to rid them of the grime accumulated over the course of the day, but ended with them jumping into the wash basin. They are little rascals!

Here are a few random pics taken over the last few months.

Sunday afternoon ride

Trevor and I boldly took the two kids for a boat ride on Sunday afernoon, which surprisingly wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. Between the squirming and insistance on "helping" Dad drive, it turned out OK. Alicia Stephend ( soon to be auntie) and our friend Shelley Ryan joined us.

The last pic was taken today at the mall, the boys were enjoying an ice cream cone. David was just delighted!

June 2nd - A day on the river

Today Trevor, Harrison and I brought our new boat home. We picked it up in Saint John and sailed home. It was SOO NICE!!!! Harrison just loved it and was a great little skipper. We can't wait to get out again really soon. We are looking forward to a summer on the river! David didn't make the trip as we thought it might be a little too long for him. Poor little guy....here's are some cute pics of him taken last week. Cool dude!!

Playdates and parties, the life of a toddler

April and May were busy months full of parties, playdates and outings when weather permitted. We got to meet little cousin Ella Butler, Harrison and David enjoyed playing with Ella's big sis Allie, and Mom and Harrison even made it to Allie's 2nd birthday. Harrison was a big help at the party, putting Allie's hat on for her and even helped her blow out the candles. I'm sure everyone was anxious to dive into the cake once he had tried to not-so-succesfully blow out the sparklers!We also attended a birthday bash for Sophia Whalen at Kingswood too. Those pictures didn't turn out well, but picture a room full of two year old's running at full speed and you'll get the idea. Earlier in the month, our American friends Beau and Chase ( Targett) Cunard were here for an afternoon visit. Angie and Sydney also stopped by that day.

There were other playdates with Myla and Shelley, lots of outdoor play on the new climber/slide/castle, a new tractor to play on and lots of other interesting moments through April and May. We're hoping the warm weather is here to stay so we can stay outside.